Over the years, I have handled these disputes using a combination of different strategies, including "letting them work it out", "teaching them effective communication skills (ha!)", "separating them", "giving each of them empathy," "mediating," "refereeing", "problem-solving" and "punishing."
None of these have been as effective, efficient, and satisfying to me (or to them!) as the method described below, which I have freely adopted from Dominic Barter's Restorative Circles model (and lovingly named "micro-circles").
Why empathy for the bully can stop bullying behavior even when punishment cannot. It’s easy to feel empathy for a victim of bullying. Shared outrage, confusion, frustration, and even a mutual sense of helplessness come naturally to most who listen to a child describe being taunted, teased, humiliated, or physically assaulted by a bully.
It’s far more difficult to be empathic toward the one doing the bullying. In our society, even the word “bully” conjures feelings of disdain and disgust.
Children who lack empathy can benefit from concrete experiences where they are allowed to practice the skills necessary to be an empathetic individual. According to Gwen Dewar of Parenting Science, empathy is a skill or response that includes the ability to listen and relate to another person's feelings. Empathy is important for a child's outlook on life and interactions with others.
A new study has revealed that participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program lead to measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress.
In addition to weekly meetings that included practice of mindfulness meditation - which focuses on nonjudgmental awareness of sensations, feelings and state of mind - participants received audio recordings for guided meditation practice and were asked to keep track of how much time they practiced each day. A set of MR brain images were also taken of a control group of non-meditators over a similar time interval. (img http://bit.ly/gcitAk)
Specifically, the researchers found that compared with people in the control group, the meditators had increased brain volume and/or density in several areas that are beneficial to health and mental function, including the hippocampus, an area important for learning and memory... the temporal-parietal junction (TPJ), which is associated with compassion and empathy... and the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC), an area responsible for sense of self and introspection. "Other researchers have found changes in learning and memory, attention and compassion as a result of meditation, so these changes in the brain areas may explain their findings,"
The study participants engaged in three different types of mindfulness training exercises...
Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress. In a study that will appear in the January 30 issue of Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, a team led by Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) researchers report the results of their study, the first to document meditation-produced changes over time in the brain's grey matter
Roots of Empathy is a program designed to teach students to empathize and understand each other. A mother and child volunteer their time to come and visit a class every three weeks, and the class monitors the baby's growth, and learning. "It has really good reviews and it has shown that it has had positive influences in schools," said fifth grade teacher Christa LaClaire. "I thought it was something that would benefit our school.
Kids learning about emotions from a baby—it’s such a simple, elegant, and powerful idea, brought to life beautifully by ROE’s founder Mary Gordon and her team. While the program has spread across Canada, and has now reached several other countries, it has yet to gain similar prominence in the United States.
Everyone is an Educator. Empathy is perhaps the best. Do you wish to meet your fellow Instructors; people who live afar, a professional or personal mentor much like you? Perchance, you seek answers, assistance, or just the acumen of another who relates to your reality. Come on in or See more before you choose!
When it comes to romantic relationships, empathy is essential, but it isn’t always easy, say family researchers Philip A. Cowan, Carolyn Pape Cowan, and Neera Mehta. They explain the obstacles couples face—and how to overcome them.
Empathy seems to come more easily to some partners than others. Yet although we tend to describe some people as empathic and others as lacking empathy, empathy is not a fixed trait—a stable characteristic that a person expresses similarly in all situations. We believe that under ideal conditions, everyone can be at least somewhat empathic in the moment. We see five main conditions necessary for fostering empathy in couples’ lives.
TEDxGoldenGateED will take place on June 11, 2011 from 1pm to 9pm at the soaring and historic Craneway Pavilion. Join us to hear from a incredibly diverse field of speakers about what science tells us about compassion and empathy, and see how compassion improves learning. You will also meet people who teach compassion explicitly, and others whose creative and vital work is deeply informed by it.
Are we entering into an era of compassion? In today’s schools, the ability to imagine the needs of others, to think compassionately, and to design, innovate, and act in ways that benefit others are true 21st century skills.
Compassion is a new science of the brain, of human health, and of sustainability. It is the greatest privilege we are granted, to teach compassion.
Empathy is the ability to imagine how someone else is feeling in a particular situation and respond with care. This is a very complex skill to develop but it is an important building block in your child’s social development.
What you can do:
Empathize with your child: “Are you feeling scared of that dog? He is a nice dog but he is barking really loud. That can be scary.”
Talk about others’ feelings. “Kayla is feeling sad because you took her toy car. Please give Kayla back her car and then you choose another.”
Teaching Empathy in Kids. Part of the series: Parenting Tips for Healthy Kids. Children need to know empathy.
Children need to know empathy. Get tips for helping your child understand to respect others in this free video series about keeping your kids mentally and physically healthy.
A team led by Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) researchers report the results of their study that 8-weeks min dfulness meditation prrogram is designed to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress. This is a study that will appear in the January 30 issue of Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging
Changes in the brain consequent on meditation have been documented by the Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) researchers.
A structured 8-week meditation program leads to measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress, the study seems to show.
Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress.
"Although the practice of meditation is associated with a sense of peacefulness and physical relaxation, practitioners have long claimed that meditation also provides cognitive and psychological benefits that persist throughout the day," says Sara Lazar, PhD, of the MGH Psychiatric Neuroimaging Research Program, the study’s senior author. "This study demonstrates that changes in brain structure may underlie some of these reported improvements and that people are not just feeling better because they are spending time relaxing." (img http://bit.ly/hwe7dR)
Activities to Listen With Empathy. Empathy is an important skill for people to learn when they are trying to communicate effectively with others. People want to feel like others understand and acknowledge their feelings and thoughts during a conversation or an argument. Empathetic listening involves verbal acknowledgments of the other person's thoughts and feelings, and it also involves body language that conveys empathy. In several activities, participants can list, view, and practice empathetic listening.
Can babies prevent bullying? The answer may be a resounding “yes.”
Bullying has been in the news a lot lately. In my last blog posting, I wrote about recent information from neuroscience about the violent changes in the brain from being bullied, and ended on a more hopeful note with suggestions for positive actions to prevent, intervene, or heal from bullying.
One delightful and effective approach to preventing bullying comes from a Canadian program called Roots of Empathy.
The tiny tot has been paying regular visits to the class with her mom Lin for the past four months, as part of the Roots of Empathy program. The award-winning program is intended to develop empathy in children and adults.
Essentially, students follow the development of an infant over the school year, getting a chance to interact with the baby and ask questions. Geared to develop emotional literacy, the program prepares students for responsible citizenship and responsive parenting. Little Kelcey is one of three babies visiting Grade 5 students at the school this year.
Introducing Roots of Empathy, an award-winning charitable organization that brings empathy-based (and evidence-based) programming to children.
"When I talk to city officials, I speak of the fact that there is fluoride in our water supply to prevent tooth decay. I tell them we need empathy in the water supply to prevent social decay ."
As Manager of Humane Education at the Arizona Humane Society in Phoenix, Dr. Kris Haley uses the Six Pillars of Character to teach kids about having empathy and compassion for animals – and each other.
What more important work is there than teaching
an expanded concept of empathy to kids
through the extraordinary lessons
of animals?
If each heart had empathy, we truly could change the world! The Six Pillars of Character, deepened with a humane dimension, can do just that!
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